Love blends families. Money rarely does, on its own. When his, hers, and theirs all meet in one estate, good intentions are not a plan. This book turns blended love into a structure that holds.
3DA second marriage, stepchildren, children from more than one relationship, these are now ordinary, and ordinary estate documents handle them badly. A simple will that leaves everything to a spouse can quietly disinherit children from a first marriage. Default rules can pit a surviving partner against the deceased's kids. Fairness that feels obvious in life can collapse in probate.
Yours, Mine, and Theirs maps the specific risks blended families face and the structures that resolve them. It covers how to provide for a spouse without disinheriting children, how to treat all children equitably without treating them identically, and how trusts and beneficiary design can deliver the outcome the family actually intends, rather than the one the default rules impose.
Leaving all to a spouse can erase children from a first marriage on the second death.
Default rules can force a surviving partner and stepchildren into open conflict.
Treating children identically can feel unfair; treating them differently can feel like favoritism.
Old wills written for a previous family structure quietly produce the wrong result.
01The Right Tool for the Right Job
02Work Optional
03The Day the Benefits Stopped
04The Tax Illusion
05Worth Millions on Paper
06Too Young, Too Healthy, Too Late
07Nobody Has the Keys
08Yours, Mine, and TheirsNow Reading
09Advised Everywhere. Planned Nowhere.
10The Phone Call That Changes Everything
11Eighteen Years to Get This Right
12Your Pension Is Here. Your Retirement Is There.
13The Stamp That Expires
14The 183-Day Trap
15Nobody to Fall Back On
16Built by One. Lost by Three.
17The Conversation the Money Needs
18The Child the Financial Plan Forgot
19The Empty Estate
20The Family Philanthropy Playbook
21From Piggy Banks to Private Trusts
22The Family Bank
23The Plan You Think You Have
24Just One More Million
25My Family Would Never Fight Over Money
26I’ll Sort It Out When I’m Older
27Perfectly Logical
28I Was Going To
29More Salary, Less Money
30You Insured Your Phone
31What to Do When the Money Arrives
The Plan That Honours Every Family
The Blended Family Insurance Architecture
The Jurisdictional Inheritance Conflict
The Inheritance Equalization Gap
Goodwill Runs Out. Structure Holds.The goal is to honour everyone you love without forcing them to fight. If your family is not blended and your documents are current, this book will be less central, though the fairness framework still applies.
“Love can blend a family. Only structure can keep it from coming apart over money.”Dr. Sanjay Tolani
Dr. Sanjay Tolani is a third-generation insurance professional and one of the most decorated financial planners in the world. He qualified for the Million Dollar Round Table at 19, the youngest member in its history, a record that still stands, and has since structured more than USD 25 billion in assets for over 50 high-net-worth families across 53 countries.
Beyond his practice, Dr. Sanjay has built the world’s largest advisor mentoring community, over 200,000 members, all free, and authored books that have sold more than a million copies in five languages. The Right Tool Series makes that same expertise available to families, business owners, and globally mobile professionals who need real plans, not general advice.
10The Phone Call That Changes Everything11Eighteen Years to Get This Right17The Conversation the Money Needs18The Child the Financial Plan ForgotThe book is shared on request. Tell us where to send it and we'll get your copy to you.
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